I’m not sure how I’ll ever get my head above water.
I decided to go back to school to at the age of thirty-two, I am now thirty-eight, with more than $80,000 in federal and private student loan debt. I’m barely making enough money to pay the interest let alone the principal. I am not a stupid person, but somehow it never crossed my mind that my private loans through Sallie Mae were a really HORRIBLE idea. Grad school wasn’t all that great an idea either.
I suppose I was ignorant, being a thirty-two year old city dweller, the most I had ever financed was a Honda Civic. Honestly, it’s a bit like being brainwashed. Everyone tells you that Sallie Mae is helping you out, when what they were actually doing was sinking their claws in .. forever.
My friends were all doing it – it’s just what you do when you were in grad-school. Moments of clarity were often quickly followed by anxiety. What the he’ll was I doing? I could own a mansion in my home town for what I was borrowing! When talking to advisors they’d get a glazed over look, stared past me into farthest corner of the room and say in an airy, heartfelt voice, “Look at this as an investment, the best investment, an investment in yourself, an investment in your future.”
BULLSHIT! I call BULLSHIT .. Except I didn’t call “bullshit”, I signed the loan papers and now I’m not sure that I will ever own my own home. Oh, I’m sure of one thing, by the time I am old, demented and still owe forty grand there will be no social programs to keep me from drowning in the run-off ditch nearest my apartment during an especially intense Alzheimer’s induces psychotic bout of sundowning.
Anyway, the future is here and my phone rings three times a day, seven days a week. Sallie Mae, via Manilla, is calling and they want to know where I am, and remind me that they own my ass. They say, “This isn’t like your Federal Student Loan, this is a PRIVATE BANK LOAN. I wish there was something I could do for you, but [Sallie Mae gives a fuck] and [she’ll break your fucking knees] unless you bring the account up do date today. AND just for bringing you account up to date Sallie is gonna charge you an extra $50 per loan. Thank you!
Fuck you Sallie Mae , fuck my bad planning, and fuck the oligarchy taking over this country. There is this attitude that the USA should be run like a corporation, also known as screw the people, so that the rich man’s dream can stay alive. This means, huge budgets for crap we don’t need and NO SOCIAL PROGRAMS.
Screw Medicaid, screw education, screw accessible health care, screw PBS, climate change, oil dependence, pollution .. that stuff is all just BIG LIBERAL SPENDING. We need more military, more drilling, more banks, more gas stations .. you know, the stuff that makes life better.