Got My AIDS Handshake Ring Today!

Handshake

Handshake (Photo credit: Aidan Jones)

Finally, after months of waiting my AIDS ring came in the mail. I’m not sure that I have ever paid so much for so little in my life. I can tell already that the cheap little retractable “blood-letting” hook is going to break in no time .. and it isn’t very sharp, I’ll be surprised if I can infect anyone with this cheap thing. I was also hoping the documentation would be a little clearer about “the handshake”. It offers only three bullet points under the title “Maximum Infection Techniques”, and only suggest that Bug Soldiers “always have an exit plan,” even when infecting a “friend.” HA! I, for one, have a little more pride about whom I choose for my friends, so I am assuming that my “exit plans,” will have to be very well conceived.

After seeing this schlock-job for doing the Gay’s work, I think the old-fashioned way of infecting God-fearing, fag hating, christians is still the best way .. just wait for them to come to me.  They are always so sheepish, they’ll tell me that they’ve got a wife, and that, “I ain’t no faggot or nothing,” without fail, within five minutes of walking in my door, and usually while they are taking off their pants (or mine). Moments later, they are moaning, groaning, ass in the air, and begging for some of the kinkiest stuff you may ever hear.

Anyway, I’m going to have to cut this post short, I’m just so excited to be apart of this Bug Soldier movement.  Its funny, but I think being a Bug Soldier is God’s calling for ME.  So, I’m off to find some christians. I may actually go to one of their services so that I can get them with my ring where they least expect it! “Peace be with YOU!”

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